no title for you

I'm tired, bored, lonely....Audrey said my away message was dark, and it was, really....lyrics from "Not Ready To Die" by Demon Hunter.


And everyday of my life I can feel it getting harder to breathe
With every minute ticking by I'm getting ready to leave
I know a life like mine is not a reason to fret
But I've been busy making scars that you will never forget
I'm not ready to lay, not ready to fade
I'm not ready to die

Further proof that everyone has their own hell....I'm not in mine right now, but I'm standing at the brink, hoping I don't get pushed in...or jump in....
Love is a treasure, one that's very hard to find...and there's a lot of fake love out there being offered by people, and that's why a lot of relationships end unhappily. the love wasn't real. Of course, there are those like me who are searching without a map...haven't the slightest clue where I'm going to find a girl to love me, one that I'll love, doubt I will....but it would be so awesome if I did, despite my pessimism. I just feel like doors are getting slammed in my face, everytime I find someone that I'm interested in, something always happens that prevents it from happening...either they move, aren't looking for a relationship, or there's some sort of stunning revelation that makes me decide I don't like them, something like that. I don't have much faith that God is going to give me what I want here....I doubt. Something this big, I have to see it to believe it....of course, what's there to believe? it's not like He's told me I'm going to find my soulmate....I haven't heard from Him one way or the other. He hasn't made any promises, so what is there to have faith in? I'd better stop and get off the computer, it's starting to look....spherical, and it's a flat screen...I just need sleep.