loving the weather...

yeah....had to walk back to my dorm from the business building, where I had chemistry and biology...it was raining...and I left my umbrella in one of the classrooms in D. Rich last night, and it's gone...so, I got thoroughly soaked. Suppose you could say it matches my mood, though. Cried myself to sleep last night for the first time in months. I know that's probably due to the reduction of the zoloft to 100mg...which is still twice the normal dose....
I seem to be regressing though....back to the way I was when my depression first started...I'm withdrawing from everything, everyone. I feel just as alone now as I did back then...one step forward, two steps back...hold on, I need to check my laundry...ok, that's done. I've got friends...but what I've regressed to, I can't reach out for help. I'm almost back to the point where I need someone to reach out to me if I'm to get any help at all....and that's not good. Of course, given some of this information, some may be dismayed to know that I want to go entirely off of the zoloft...maybe if I'm fully feeling the depression again, I can lose weight again too, like I did before. I didn't loose it at dangerous rate...25lbs over three months, that's healthy. of course, I had a job too then...but I will, hopefully, next semester....which also means I have to get off my lazy bum and go get some applications filled out. maybe before I meet audrey tonight....but after I eat dinner, which I will do now.