I remember this song....

"A Shadow On Me" by Project 86...one of my favorite songs. Used to make me cry all of the time. I identified so well with the lyrics...and speaking of depression, i haven't been able to hit bottom, I'm still stuck in this midlevel plateau that sucks really bad. Funny line.... "Remove this sordid fascination with shadow..." It doesn't make too much sense out of context, but I can explain...the shadow is depression, a darkness on the soul...what's funny is that's what I feel, a desire to enter that shadow. It's its own relief, in a way...I'm more miserable from a certain point of view, in this state, than I am when I'm hitting bottom. At least there I can cry, release some of this pain, and my body releases its own natural antidepressants instead of me having to take that ineffective zoloft garbage....yet more proof that God's designs are much better than anything humans can come up with. *sigh* I'm tired, lonely as always...but I can't hit bottom...so I'm miserable, it's eating away at me...I gotta come up with some new material....
Brian's coming tomorrow, I have to pick him up at the airport and then take him to ECU on Thursday. So much fun...I hope he finally pays me back the $110 I lent him this past summer. I need the money.