longest week on record

Indeed. Worked everyday but Sunday and Thursday. I was just getting ready to leave today when someone brought in a sold car. Since I was closing, I had to do it. There was going to be two, but the salesperson said they'd just advise the buyer to come back Monday so she wouldn't have to stay late. Still though, I was pissed that I was ready to leave and I had to do another car. Could have left at 6pm, and I didn't get done till 7:30pm. Got all of my days off that I wanted, so I can go see Megan the first weekend in June. Then I get off for my wisdom teeth thing for a few days. Tell you what, I'm tired already of working this many hours. I just wish I didn't have to work almost every day. Three days a week would be great. that's at least 24hrs a week, at $7.50 an hour. not bad at all. But I doubt I'll get it. I won't be able to keep this job for long and stay sane...it's not so much the hours that get to me, I can handle that...it's the paranoia about being around all these new cars, I'm constantly afraid that I'm going to screw one up and have to pay for it. I mean, I start sweating every time I have to drive one. I feel sick just thinking about working, scared of messing up...I would rather work at Baskin-Robbins, believe it or not...at least there, if I mess up, it won't cost me a few hundred dollars. Perhaps I'll quit after a few weeks, just so I can have some money saved up, and then have the rest of the summer to enjoy. I mean, i'm making $300 a week. so, we'll see how long I can stand it.

*unintelligible noise*

I'm tired...very. Ten hour work days the past two days. Sucks a$$. he said I'd be working 40-45hrs. a week. Hell no. I'm going to have to talk to him, I don't care if I'm making $7.50/hr, I'm not working that much. Mr. Winebarger, the general manager, told my mom that I could work whatever hours I wanted. I don't want to work more than 30hrs a week, max. I don't need $300+ a week, I can live without it. I just want to be able to enjoy my summer, not spend it working. I swear, it's only been two days, and it feels like it's been a week. I should have waited and interviewed for the field tech job...probably would be better than this. I'm ungodly slow at my job, I know that. Only did two cars and part of another in nine hours of work. Other people can do four cars or more in the same time. Then there's that the day never ends. I've got to get out of these long hours. I can't stand the thought of doing this all summer. Feel like I need some R&R already. Guess I'll go to bed. don't have to go in till 12pm tomorrow, but I have to stay through closing, which is at 8pm.

good CD

Got the CD of the fall and spring concerts. I'm enjoying it as we speak...and this particular song always reminded me of that Zelda game, Ocarina of Time. One of my favorite games of all time. We only had to sing two songs today...and I left something there...the book I got back from Holland. Gotta e-mail Dr. Morrow to see if there's a possibility of me getting it back. I'm sick of forgetting things...price I pay for brilliance, I swear, lol. The smarter people are, it seems, the more absent-minded they are. ever notice that? anywhat...training tomorrow. Hope I have good hours...enough to make some good money, but not too much that I don't hardly have time to enjoy my summer. Watched a couple of shows about David Blaine, the magician...his tricks have no physical explanation. ever seen a man levitate...without strings, anything that could lift him off the ground? Read people's minds, stuff he couldn't possibly know? Not of the natural world. Like to see Mythbusters try to crack his tricks...wish I knew more card tricks...only know three, and they're not all that good. I mean, they fool people, but eventually they figure it out. Megan comes back tomorrow. Hopefully she'll call me, or I'll call her or something like that...probably should get to bed...

were, are, will be

What are they? They are things. anywhat...figured out that I'm missing a bag...going to have to call security up at campbell to see if they have it. It has my checkbook in it, and my watch...bad state of affairs. I need it back. Have to go up there tomorrow for the baccalaureate service, the choir is singing. Thankfully, though, we don't have to sit through the whole thing, we can just sing and leave. I'm just going to sleep now, I think...bored and tired...

some thoughts

yeah. well, let me get a few things out of the way first. Got that job at the dealership, I start Monday morning. Hope my schedule isn't bad, and they said they'd pay me more than $6.50 per hour, so that's good...Megan left for NYC today. I'll probably get to hear about it on Monday, I believe that's when she's coming back. Went to a consultation about getting my wisdom teeth removed, doing it in June after I come back from Megan's. Ok, thoughts. wondering if I made the decision too quickly about megan. Then, the other part of me says that loneliness makes me all funny in the head...meaning two things: one, perhaps it made me rush into a decision, and two, that's what's causing me to have doubts now, because I don't feel that way when she's around, no doubts when she's around. Also, they say that men look for women that remind them of their mothers. I hope that is not happening here on an unconscious level, because if it is, it won't work. Guess I just need a yea or nay from some trusted folks when they meet her. Makes me feel like I can't make any decisions on my own, though, seeking the advice of others in this matter. I've let it influence me before, ie, Nikki, but I agreed with it. that was for the best. what about here? I don't know. I agree with what I first said, I think...the second part of my mind, I mean. Loneliness is making me funny in the head. I'll feel better when I get to see her, or at least when the next semester starts, and we get to see each other regularly. Nervous about going up to her town to see her in a few weeks. Part of it is the drive...four hours through unfamiliar territory, including a big city (Winston-Salem). Then there's that I hope that my picky palate for food doesn't get my in trouble up there. There's also meeting all of these people that she's told about me...they all want to meet me. Oi. I won't put her through all that when she gets here...she'll just have to meet my mom, dad, Chrisanne, and the Szigedi's. well...I'm done talking for now...

just to pass the time

I...no apostrophes again...I am waiting for midnight. At that point, my kingdom will surrender to the other one. ack. we lost by over 1400 acres. next time we will be ready though. Took my psychology exam today...One question was "What makes the color green different from blue?" or something to that effect. there were four choices. two were obviously wrong, I do not remember what they were though, and the other two I was stuck between: frequency or wavelength. Does not both affect the color? But I had to choose between the two, and I think I picked frequency. Too bad I will not get a chance to argue that one in class. Hopefully I get an A though. I feel...lonely again. Even though I just talked to Megan last night over the phone. She is going to NYC on thursday for the weekend, doing some shopping. I am hoping to go visit her the first weekend in June. Then we hope that she can come down here in July, and maybe we can go to my dad"s house...there, I used a quotation mark instead of an apostrophe...stupid glitch. Going to the car dealership tomorrow to apply for that job. hopefully I get it, and hopefully it will have reasonable hours.

bittersweet day

started out fairly good...A&P exam sucked, but Megan told me she wants a relationship with me. happiness is me. then everything went to hell when I went to my psychology exam and no one showed up...my exam was wednesday. the "official" exam schedule was wrong. me, in desperation, called up Dr. Viehe at his house and told him my problem. he is going to let me take it at the Fort Bragg campus on Tuesday, so I just have to figure out how I'm going to get on base. Maybe I'll hitch a ride with Alex's mom, she's got the sticker on her truck so that we could get in without being searched first. yeah. it rained on us as we were loading up the truck and car. Hydroplaned outside of Spring Lake, spilled my drink. Stupid rain...and roads. They slant so that the right lane is half-filled with water. went over to Alex's this evening. that's all for now.

something to say today...

Indeed, for once, I have something to say. It will be interesting to see how it turns out. Megan told me she's liked me for some time, said that she thought I was flirting with her, which, I wasn't, intentionally anyway. But I do like her, have for a little while, not the whole time I've known her. Just as I've gotten to know her, particularly the last month or so. Anyways, I told her that. I pointed out that are only two options: one, pursue a relationship; two, don't. Sounds simple. She brought up the point that she's still dealing with issues concerning Edward. She said that most guys wouldn't like her to be thinking about her ex. I told her that I'm pretty patient and forgiving, and that I trust her. The other option presents difficulties, obviously, because we'd still be friends, but we'd have to get rid of our feelings for each other. I, obviously, am hoping for the first option, that we go for it. She said she needed a night to think about it. *sigh*...I can only hope and pray...
On other things, I have two exams tomorrow, Anatomy and Physiology, and Psychology. Not ready for Psychology, I'll have to study tomorrow morning and afternoon. My A&P exam is at 8am, so I'd better go to bed.

the last week...

have two more exams on friday, then I move out...that's a lot of packing I have to do...probably end up doing most of it on thursday...though, I'll probably be just as bored tomorrow as I was today, and start packing then. My last two exams promise to be hard ones. Both are cumulative, and cover tons of information. I'll start studying tomorrow as well. Don't have a job yet. Sucks, I really want a good job, one that I'll enjoy...I need the money. Ah, I forgot that I didn't update my blog this weekend. Charlotte was...long...the service alone was 3.5 hours long. People said that we were the best choir. I had a headache by the time it was over though, made me nauseous. Stupid french words...had to double check the spelling on that one. Got to see Audrey, we had dinner together. Most enjoyable. I wish she were still here. I'm feeling disgusted with myself again. I feel like I'm disgusting to look at, I know I'm overweight, I feel like I'm...dull, you know? a very uninteresting person to be around. Though, I know there are a ton of people that will disagree with me. I want my life to have meaning, to be worth it, but no matter how hard I try, I'm always fighting a losing battle, it seems. Hmm...I can't say that no one reads this anymore though...Brian discovered it too. I don't really feel like sleeping...what am I to do then?