an experiment

yeah, I plan to mess around with this "Blogger Images" function...I'll add a couple of pictures of my africa trip.

I believe the one above is when we were going back to Livingstone....we stopped in this village to take a break from the driving and buy some food...they had the best bread, it's right up there with Ryan's yeast rolls....maybe even better.

this was at the same stop, jenn wanted a picture of me drinking a soda....the missionaries bought us all sodas at this village....about 5000 kwacha for a 300mL bottle...basically a dollar for a 10oz soda. good stuff though, it was worth it....maybe I'll scan some more later.
Got a new cellphone today, cuz I lost my other one. I have no doubt I'll find it eventually...it has to be on this property somewhere. Going to my dad's tomorrow. Oh, yeah, and I waited two and a half hours for wal-mart to change my oil and rotate my tires....do you have any idea how boring wal-mart is? especially if you have no money. I was hungry, and I couldn't even by anything because I spent my cash on "War of the Worlds" today. of course, I found $5 on the floor, just before I got my car back...so I just came home to eat. hmm...there's something I want to write here, but I can't, because I'm afraid the person it concerns will read it...it's not my mom, it's someone else...all in due time, maybe I'll paint a target on myself one day so this person can shoot me down. don't ya hate that? find someone that's really great, too great, and you know they're just waiting for an excuse to blow you away with a 12-gauge...in a figurative sense...and in another sort of intangible sense, but I can't write that, I've already said too much.

well, it's another dramatic night

Brian quit his job, dad freaked, Brian took off, he unloaded on me and Alex, he's staying at Alex's now. My mom accuses him of having people over to our house while we were gone and he was house-sitting. Both Brian and Alex deny this, I believe them, because I know they wouldn't lie to me about this, my mom refuses to tell me who told her there were people over here, and doesn't believe the three of us. total bull, and I'm going to call her out on it. bet she heard it from our neighbors, a swinger and a nudist, and that's why she doesn't want to tell me who she heard it from, because she knows I'd laugh at her for believing those dirtbags, and then get mad because she believed them over our friends. back to brian, he's seemingly lost all contact with reality, has no clue what he's going to do with himself, he's so stressed out. Hopefully this will blow over. I'm going to go analyze the video of our spring concert now, see how horrible we did.

once again from Nowhere, IL

I left my contacts out last night, I was tired and I forgot about them, so they dried out, and that was my last pair, so we had to go get me some GLASSES...which I hate glasses. you should see how thick these are...they had to fill out the forms for me, because I couldn't read them until the clipboard was touching my nose. Anyways, the Cardinals lost last night when we went to the game....and tonight, they just shut out the same team they got creamed by last night. I noticed the other day some strange names for places....the first, I didn't realize until Chrisanne pointed it out....Effingham. Say it, don't read it. do you really wanna say you're from "F-ing Ham"? Second, there was a hospital called Touchette. Say it the good old american way and you get "Touch it". That's not a hospital I wanna go to. Touch it, heh. no thanks. Well, speaking of funny names, there are some strange street names around fayetteville, namely in the town just south of it called Hope Mills. with that new posting images function on the posting toolbar, I'm going to go take pictures of the signs and put them up here when I get my pics developed...and I need a way to use up the rest of the film after I took like, two or three pictures. we're leaving tomorrow morning, but we're not going to do it in one day. no telling where we'll stop, probably in the mountains somewhere between Knoxville and Asheville. and before I go, yes, I did write my posts for this trip on paper, I'll put them up when I have time, but not tonight...I'm going to readdict myself to Pinball right now.

On the Road, part three

I love back massages...too bad no one will give me one...well, first we...no, first I played golf this morning, then we went to Meramec Cavern, pretty cool stuff, huge cave, maybe I can steal some of my mom's pics to put up. There was this one girl there, she was only wearing a tank top and shorts, and you know how caves are, cold and stuff, she was freezing, I wish I had had a jacket to give her, I felt bad for her. Then, my mom decided she wanted to rent a canoe. Well, I finally gave in, so we did, and they dropped us of about six miles upstream, and I finally asked my mom if she know how long it was supposed to take us to get back, she told me three hours, I'm like, heck with that, so I worked my butt off (literally...I couldn't feel my butt after the first hour or so), I got us back in two hours, ironically because I was tired and didn't want to be out on the river that long. SO now my neck and shoulders hurt, thats why I want a massage, haven't had one in over a year, I think...and that was from Brian...no, we're not gay, we just happen to be good enough friends that we're comfortable with it.Wish I had a girlfriend that cared enough to give me a massage. don't worry, I wouldn't let it go farther than that. Speaking of girlfriends, I need to call jessica, just to see if she's back, and to talk, see how her trip was. Maybe we could do someothing with Alex and Audrey, introduce her to a couple of my fairly odd friends.

On the Road, part two

fairly depressing day. Played a few rounds of golf on the five hole course...it's okay...I don't like the goose poop on the greens for one, and each hole was the same length, almost, save for the last one. Anyways, my general triggers were, uh, triggered by the usual things, got depressed, I'm so friggin alone here. I would kill to have one of my friend here with me. Damn, Alex, why'd you have to fail US History? then of course there is the everpresent other type of loneliness that is much harder to solve. Of course my situation isn't as hopeless as it was when I was last suck out here in the Midwest. I (hopefully) still have something to look forward to when I get back, meaning Jessica. Haven't seen her in a couple of weeks because we've both been gone on trips. But, I'll try to call her tomorrow, just to talk, maybe see if she wants to do something when I get back. I want to discuss with her some more serious personal things, because we've exhausted the surface topics, gotten to know each other a bit, so now I wanna see if I want a relationship with her, so I gotta find out her views on some things first, and if I'm still interested, I'll see how intersted she is. did I ever mention she's 6'1"? And I'm only 5'8". I'm just thinking that would be a bit awkward if we ever get serious enough to kiss...but oh well, deal with that when it comes, if ever. I hope it does though. This loneliness hurts so bad.

On the Road, part one

Well, we're here....tiring trip, but the place isn't bad. Went to Ryans to eat..there were more fat people in there than at a weight watchers meeting. I swear, some of those people would have to use the handicap stall in the bathroom, because they can't fit in the normal ones. Disgusting. Fat is not beautiful in this quantity. I realize some people have medical conditions that make them as large as they are (I know someone like this), but the majority have no excuse for letting themselves get so fat. It's disgusting and unhealthy. I guess what Garfield said is true...you wanna feel skinny, hang around people fatter than you...must say, I feel pretty good tonight.

didn't expect to get on, but here I am

we went the whole trip in one day...left about 7:30am EST yesterday, got to Vandalia about 10:00pm CST....we'll head to DeSoto, MO this afternoon. That's where the resort actually is, not in St. Louis. Still gotta mail my dad's card, will do that before we leave town. I'm still tired from yesterday, despite getting 10hrs of sleep last night. What we're going to do to occcupy ourselves for a week, I have no clue. I know I'm going to play golf one day, may have to do that more than once. Going to the zoo one day, and then the Cardinals game....maybe I can find a bookstore and get me a new book....dang, I wish Alex could have come with us, I wouldn't be so bored. I might be able to post the day before we come back, because either we're going to spend the last night here and go back in one day (and so I'd be able to get online), or we're just going to leave from DeSoto and stop somewhere for the night, in which case, I won't be able to get on. bored, bored bored....

seafood

Because I look like an advertisement for Red Lobster....couldn't find the sunscreen, but the grass called to me, so I had to cut it. Bloody hot, and getting hotter....I expect the heat index to be as high as 110 tomorrow....I was going to finish the yard work, but I don't know now....maybe if I get up early enough....forget weedeating though, if I do anything, I'll mow the back yard. By that, i mean the grass near the house. I'm not talking about the 2.5 acres around the pond that I just cut. just a little bit right behind the house, plenty of shade...anyways, Alex can't go to St. Louie....I'll call Travis, but hey, we're two days from leaving, I shouldn't even bother. Dang, my hands still smell like that catfish bait...Alex and I are going back out tomorrow night, a little bit earlier, with bugspray this time, and we're probably going to take his canoe. damn, I really don't want to go to St. Louis alone. I hope I at least get to play golf or something. Anyone know anything fun to do in St. Louis?

I'm fat

yeah....though I lost those 25 pounds a year and a half ago, I've gained most of it back, mostly muscle, but I still have a not really healthy layer of fat on top. if only I could make myself bike a lot...I'll try. Maybe it will help if I get Alex to go along. Leaving for St. Louie Friday....still don't know about Alex....I really don't feel like posting, actually....I won't get to post in St. Louis, so I'll write it on paper like I usually do, and put it up when I get back.

Levity, Brevity

Two words that rhyme. Anyways, there is a SLIGHT possibility of Alex going with us to St. Louis....it's up to his dad, who is in Canada right now.....they have yet to finish their pool, but it's almost done, maybe he'll let Alex off the hook. You know, I was just browsing some blogs, it's amazing how many worthless blogs there are...several of them are advertisements or list search results from Google. Some contain gibberish, just random letters and spaces, it's not even another language. Many blogs out there are only one or two posts. Some even have none, and they were created months ago. Wow. hmm....I'm considering making a blog for my prose and novels....NaNoBlogMo? Or maybe this is just midnight mania, I'll figure it out when I have more time.

well, that was a failure

yep. To keep it brief, I believed Jamie, my mom still does not, so she won't take her to St. Louis with us. Just to make her sound generous, she offered to take anyone else that would go, but hey, who's gonna pick up and go to St. Louis for a week with my family with less than two weeks notice? No one I know. It's summer, people already got plans. Now, this is the same group that I went with to Branson....I believe it was in the July archives that I posted about that, but....well, let me check, because I'm not sure...no, it's in the June archives. You know, Brian brought up an interesting point the other day...he told me, well, first, know that he just got started on the same stuff I'm on for his hallucinations, so now he's practically normal when he's fully medicated, but anyway, he said sometimes he longs for the pain of depression. Funnily enough, I do to sometimes. A love/hate sort of thing, I suppose. Ooh, gives me chills to think about what I'm going into in a couple of weeks...that incredibly dark, silent hole of isolation. You know, I hope my mom stopped reading my blog a long time ago....I feel as if I have no privacy from her....and of course, she feels completely shut out. Tough for her. Don't care. If that's what makes me comfortable, then, damnit, that's the way it's going to be. She needs to get over it, divorce that bastard she's married to and find someone that will give her the companionship she wants.
Well, going to see the shrink again....damn, I told him I'd bring him prom pics, but mom never took them off her camera....I'll have to fix that tomorrow. maybe I'll discuss with him Jamie's situation. Damn, I can't wait till St. Louis. I can't even remember the last time I felt that much pain, I'm rather looking forward to the experience.

a necessary conversation

Had to have with my cousin. We're going to take her on our trip to St. Louis, but my mom spoke to her mom, and we learned a few things....I won't bother to mention them, but now my mom doesn't trust my cousin, and she wants my input, which I am withholding until I hear back from Jaimie....I'll know by the way she responds to what I wrote. well....um, since that's all that's going on, I'm outta here.

ah, late as usual

yeah, and so, I'll keep it short. Less important, I bought Kessen III, and I thought it was easy till I got to this one battle, and now it's hard, I'm outnumbered like 5-1, and I have to split up my forces and send half to guard two bases, while the others have to sneak around and attack the main general, who I have to defeat to win. Sounds easy enough, but I got slaughtered, 10 units attacked the three I had guarding the bases, and my main unit was crushed even though I did sneak around. On to bigger news, Brian set me up on a blind date, I went yesterday, she and I met at a coffee shop, talked for about three and a half hours...interesting experience, she told me to call her sometime when we left, and she said she likes bowling, so we may get together and do that. well, I'll just go now...gotta go back tomorrow morning and get my TB test read....wonder what else I'll do to fill my time?