New Year's, and apparently I need to clarify something...

Okay, serena, you don't seem to get my last post....you misunderstand. It's not about getting a girl...it's about getting the girl....you know, where the relationship actually works out, where there's real love between me and her, namely, meeting the girl I'm supposed to marry. Nikki, ha, that was a mistake, didn't teach me much about dating, rather, it taught me that I shouldn't always take things that are freely given. She did nothing but frustrate me in the end, I guess I was disappointed in a way, but that was specifically relating to her, has nothing to do with dating itself. So, yes, I do believe I have a right to piss and moan about my loneliness, because the single criterium for dispelling it has yet to be satisfied. Okay, I confess I'm a bit obsessive over this, why, I don't know. don't care. if it's a phase, it'll pass. maybe it has something to do with my mental and emotional issues, but like I said, I don't care, not about the causes, nor the effects. just about fixing the problem itself. If you only knew what kind of agony I've been through on this issue, you wouldn't be calling me out like this. Try reading my posts on July 9 and 18. Also, June 22 and Sept. 26
So, to try to sum up what I just said very incohesively, here it is in a nutshell:
One: I'm not looking for a date, I'm looking for my other half, you know what I mean?
Two: Haven't found her yet, which is dragging me to despair, because I know very well that it could be a long time....and I'm already so lonely.
Three: I'm not mad at you or anything, I just want to be understood.