I'm bored now

yes, very much so. oh, wait, I can make a CD....I'll be back. Okay, I'm recording some songs off my new Living Sacrifice CD, while it's doing that I can talk. Alex came over last night, we watched "Se7en" I had seen it before, but that movie is awesome. I'll have to add it to my faves list. Spent some time with Brian today, the two of us and my mom went to dinner and the Holly Day Fair...pardon me again. OI, ugh.....stupid WMP....had to recreate a huge playlist from scratch because it wouldn't play the old one. Anyway, what was I going to talk about? OH, yeah, that I feel really alone right now. Being out in a crowd of strangers is always emotionally draining. I think that is one reason why I would cultivate a relationship with Nikki...I know that she would help dispel my loneliness because she's very physically expressive with her affection, and if you recall, my self-examination determined that my love language is physical touch, more than likely. But this is giving me mixed feelings, because I don't want to use her just to get what I want, which is what I feel like I'm headed towards. I'm not quite sure how she feels about me, her actions and words indicate strong feelings, but after what Jordan and I have talked a little about, she seem to be the flirtatious, play with a guy for a while then dump him type. If this happens to be the truth, I'm not playing that game. If I gotta be lonely for a while longer to avoid that kind of relationship, then so be it.
Well to conclude my rather short debate, I'm not sure where to go at this point, I'll wait it out for a while, move with caution and the advice of God and my friends.
Hmm, funny, I was depressed earlier, but then I started cleaning my room, I feel better now....weird....hey, I had a dream about this freshman girl, my dream was that she was a self-mutilator, mainly cutting. I asked her sheerly (dude....that can't be the right spelling) on the basis of that dream if that was true....it was. She just stopped this summer. It really freaked both of us out that my dream was true....maybe that's how God is going to speak to and through me....I like that.
Oh yeah, took the SAT again today...had 670 math and 690 verbal last time, hoping for better this time....don't know if I can, but I'm hoping for 1400. k, Serena wants to read this post, so I'd better post it.