addendum to something that happened a long time ago

Keep in mind, that this was over a year ago. It is a strange coincidence that we just discovered tonight while talking on the phone...Megan and I, of course. It was somewhere in March, we're not sure of the exact date, but we were having dinner in the Oasis, and it was the night that I had brought my laptop and was showing her some of my stories. It was during this time that she realized that she liked me, even though she was still with Edward at the time, that we got along really well and seemed "compatible", as she just told me. After that, we got into playing the famous people and characters game. We did this all the way back to her dorm, and we just stood at the bottom of the stairs, looking at each other. I really wanted to just go over to her and hold her for a few moments, but I didn't. She told me that she recalls seeing an odd look in my eyes, and that she was thinking that I would kiss her, and that that was why she was slowly climbing up the stairs and looking back at me. I guess it was this point in time that I realized that I liked her...the elusive point that we've been looking for for a long time.

Anyways, just wanted to put that down for posterity. Kinda romantic, isn't it? that we realize that we liked each other on the same night? Though, obviously, we didn't do anything about it for a long time. Kind of fulfills that wish I had back in high school, that I wanted a relationship where the interest was mutual before either of us knew the other was interested. Okay, I'm done now.

wow, I'm posting again...

Currently, I'm experiencing a "fit of passion"...meaning, I have an insane urge to do something constructive. This usually occurs after a period of extreme laziness, which I have been experiencing the past week. So, allow me to make a list of things I intend to do this week:

Organize the kitchen (in particular, the silverware drawer)
Replace the head on the weed eater and weed eat around the pond.
Go to the gym Tuesday and Thursday.
Clean out my bathroom cabinets.
Mow when necessary.

If I think of any more, I'll do those too. Now on to the next part of this post: the dream I had last night. Kind of strange, really, but try to ignore the strangeness of the setting. I'm in a mixed wrestling match, but I'm the only guy in it. Tag team set up, but we're all in the ring fighting. My partner, who is this hispanic girl, is fighting this huge woman named Bertha, and I'm fighting a girl about my size. She was pretty, had fair skin with some freckles, blue eyes and really dark brown hair. Anyways, she's trying to hit me with a chair, but I knock it out of her hands and do some sort of move that I don't really remember, but anyway, she ends up unconscious on her back. I pin her, and we win the match. I feel kind of bad for her, so I wake her up, brush the hair out of her eyes, and ask her if she's okay. She says she is, that she's just exhausted and a little sore, and that she didn't sleep much the previous night. I help her up and walk with her back to the locker room door (strangely enough, this whole thing was taking place in the Bryan Hall courtyard), pat her on the back, told her that I loved her, and walked off. At this point, I realize that she was my sister (which, if you don't know, in reality, I'm an only child). I see Megan standing off in a corner looking somewhat upset, and I know that it's because she doesn't know that that girl was my sister, and she heard me tell her that I loved her. That's the most interesting part of the dream, the rest involves me and Megan getting on a bus that's trying to follow a motorcycle, but the bus driver doesn't know how to make right turns, and I end up riding my bike down I-95.

I often wonder what it would be like if I had had a sister. I do confess that being an only child was a lonely experience. Sure, it means that I got spoiled and everything, but...I'm just curious. I would rather have a sister than a brother just because I get along better with girls than guys for the most part. I have more female friends than guy friends, although my three closest friends are guys: Alex, Brian, and Drew. And then there's this strange desire that I have to want someone to look after, like a younger sister. It would make me feel as if I had more of a purpose in life if I had a sibling that looked up to me (for example, wanting my approval of the guys she dates). I don't know, I'm just strange that way. Wonder if I'd have turned out different, perhaps not be as strange? It's a good question...

More items from the past

There are some things that I did not cover in my last post. Allow me to start with the spring formal. It was in Durham, as usual. Megan and I agreed to split the driving, since I do not like to drive in big cities. I drove us to Fuquay to have dinner. We ate at Ruby Tuesday's and received our fair share of strange glances. Megan was wearing an emerald green dress with low cut V-neck (note to self, check my pictures for a better description), and she had a flower in her hair, which I always like. She was worried that other girls there would be wearing the same dress, but no one was, and it goes without saying that she was the most beautiful girl there. Our waitress also asked us if we were going to a prom. I informed her that we were college sophomores and that we were going to a college formal, not a high school prom. This was the first comment like this of the night, we also got one like it once we got to the hotel where the formal was being held. Anyways, Megan drove the rest of the way to the Millenium Hotel. We decided to wait for Faith and Matt to get there, but they didn't get there till after 9:30pm. A good chunk of our evening down, but I was determined to enjoy the rest of it. We went upstairs with them, took some pictures, and proceeded into the room where the band was playing. They started playing a waltz, and Megan wanted to dance, but I said that I wasn't very good at it. I thought at the time that she took that to mean that I didn't want to dance to that song, but later found out that she didn't want to deal with the frustration of having to lead when it should have been me leading. We argued about this for a while, because I wanted to go back in there to dance, and she didn't like the music and would have preferred to go to the next floor where there was a DJ, but as you know, I can't stand that kind of "music". Megan would like me to clarify this point, that I am referring to rap "music" and that that was not all they played up there. Eventually she walked off and I let her go, figuring that if she wanted to be around me, she would come back. She told me when she came back awhile later that she had wanted me to follow her to show her that I cared, but we all know that men and women speak different languages and don't always communicate well, so I didn't realize this. Long story short, we eventually decided to give the ballroom another try, and we ended up talking to some of my friends and danced the rest of the time we were there, so that by the time we left (about midnight), we were in far better moods and managed to pull an enjoyable time out of it.

We again split up the driving, as we were heading back to my house. There were a few near-accidents on the way, as we were of couse tired, but we got back safely a little after 2am.

The next day, my dad's house was inspected, and afterwards, we went bowling, got ice cream, came back, had dinner, and played Balderdash. We watched TV a bit, and then Megan and I retired to the office where I was sleeping. We both tried to torture the other through various means, but eventually, we just laid down and started talking about getting engaged and what her parents think about it. Her mother in particular doesn't like the idea and seems to think that we'll never make it to that point. We talked about that and compared her parents to my dad and Chrisanne, and also to my mom, and just talked about all of their different view points. We also discussed what I might be planning to do for the day that I propose. I'm obviously not going to tell her, but I am concerned about finding something to do that we will both like. She like the idea of going to a really fancy restaurant and getting dressed up, but she knows I don't like that sort of thing. I do have couple of ideas, however, that based on what she said, I know she will enjoy. I can't go into them now, as I currently reading this out loud to her as I'm typing it.

Anyways, we left the next day after lunch, my mom picked me up in Smithfield, and I will not be able to see her again until we go to Charleston in June. Sadness. I know it's only been a few days since I've seen her, but thinking about how long it's going to be before I see her again, it makes me miss her, more than I did last summer, it seems. Perhaps that's because last summer, we weren't as close as we are now, as our love has had time to develop.

I believe I have covered all topics that I need to cover, and so I will close this post for the night.

I'm way behind

It's true...I haven't posted in a month and a half. Well, what's new? I'm home for the summer, and looking for a job. Hopefully Megan will be visiting this coming weekend, and we'll go to my dad's. He got his orders to go to Philadelphia in June, and they've already sold their house, so this is probably the last time I'll be able to visit them in New Bern.

SO, what should I say about what I've been doing? I was in a play called "Nun Wars", a Star Wars spoof of sorts. I was Jake Wyskalker, the main character. It was fun, everyone liked it. Moving out was a pain, thank God I have a first floor room next year. Got a new phone with a bluetooth headset. Fun stuff. Sold my bike at the yard sale this weekend, going to get a new one.

I'm bound and determined to lose weight this summer, and a lot of it. Started today, went to the gym and resumed my old workout routine that I had in the weight training class last spring. Planning on going three times a week, coming home and having a protein shake (last spring, I'd have eggs and milk for breakfast, as the class was in the morning). I'm just sick of how fat I am. I know I just ate, but right now, I weigh 200 pounds. I'm only 5'8". So, I'm pretty damn fat. I'm tired of the looks of disgust I get from people. Just a couple of weeks ago, I was in Walmart, and a group of high school kids looked at me as I walked past them, and they were trying not to laugh. Then there's that girl in US History. Anytime I made eye contact with her, she had that "What are you looking at, freak" expression on her face. I'm sick of that. My junior and senior years of high school, I looked great. Now, I don't. Of course, it will help that I'm going off of my medication. Speaking of which, I need to make a couple of phone calls, so I will return momentarily...

I'm back. Called in my refills, called my mom, called this place about working as a kennel assistant...have no clue what it's for, the ad didn't say much, and I left a message on the machine.

Okay part that doesn't go on MySpace...couple of weekends ago, I was over at Megan's, and we were messing around like we normally do, and I was massaging her G-spot, thought she was going to scream when she had her orgasm, so I kissed her. As she told me later, she had one orgasm right before I kissed her, and another one while I was kissing her, and that she was going to scream, but couldn't because I was kissing her. Talk about a close one. Her parents were in the house sleeping. We had a serious conversation afterward about what would happen if we get caught, and she said it would end up with me on the wrong end of a gun, probably getting shot. I told her that Brian would probably take exception to that and kill her dad for it. I told her that what her dad would do is not out of love for her. If he loved her, he wouldn't do anything. She gave me the hypothetical that if Brian was in my position with his girlfriend and her dad, would I kill the dad even though the girl had tried to stop her dad from killing Brian. The answer is yes, because he deserves to die. She told me I would be depriving her of the two most important men in her life by doing that. I said that were I in her position, I'd have made sure I killed the dad first before anyone else could do it. The way it seems to me is, Megan would forgive her dad for killing me, and although she would mourn me, she wouldn't hold any grudge against her dad or treat him any different. Me, on the other hand, were I in her position, would, like I said, hate him and kill him for it, or at least maim him for life.

Anyways, I'm out of stuff to say for now.