hmm...

Give me love or give me death...or if you're God, you'll give me neither and expect me to deal with it. Probably shouldn't have said that, but I'm not afraid of death. I just can't kill myself, there's a difference. Gosh, I'm starting off dark tonight. Yeah, that's what happens when I don't take my medicine for a couple of days. Went to the wind ensemble concert tonight, it was a jazz concert. Very awesome. But hey, I feel sucky, so let's focus on that. Megan told me today that at first, I seem to people to be either arrogant or just plain weird. Wonderful. Then she says that by the time girls get to know me for who I am, they've already become my friend and would not be interested in dating me, because most people don't date their friends. Wonderful again. would anyone else like to list reasons why I'm always going to be single? Oh, yeah, I'm a pessimist. I'm not even going to continue on with this list, I could go on all night. I'm just going to go cry myself to sleep or something like that. I don't think cutting will help me feel better, this is more of a suicide sort of night, you know, the kind where I want to just die? Unfortunately, I've proved before that I can't kill myself...in fact, I just said that a few minutes ago. Can't do it, and God won't do it...anyone want to step in and help here? Didn't think so. Like I said last night, no one reads this, and no one cares if they do.