aiee, so busy

yeah, lots of homework tonight because I fell asleep yesterday afternoon and didn't get any of it done before I had to go to work. So, I have two assignments in both my math classes, vocab homework, two spanish assignments, and I have to finish my descriptive essay for college english.
We're picking out a class song for this year, I suggested "Look" by Watashi Wa. Don't think that one will be it, but it'll beat some of the others suggested. Frankly, I think it'll be that Reliant K song Jordan suggested.
Well, what's been going on since I last posted? Went on the high school retreat to Camp Dixie. The seniors went the night before all the others, and the senior guys were up the whole night. Brad and Lucas wouldn't let anyone sleep. They threw Joe in the shower twice, went into room 5 with the vacuum several times, blocked the door to Room 5 where Joe, Jason and Zack were trying to sleep, and sprayed bugspray under the door. they had to crawl out the window. Jason went to sleep in his car. Then they put toothpaste in Joe's hair, sprayed Mark with bugspray while he was sleeping. I borrowed Jason's camera, I was filming everything that night. the highlight was the towel fights between Josh and Ryan....they tied one end of the towel into a knot and tried to whip each other. You should have seen the welts they had when they were done. needless to say, I got about three minutes of sleep around six am when I dozed off on the couch.
We spent half the day in chapel, I kept nodding off, even while standing and singing. it was like "hey, wait a sec, they're on the chorus already". spent the rest of the day taking pics and writing a song. These two girls, a sophmore and a freshman, had me take three pics of them. You can read the song I wrote on my poetry and lyrics blog.
What does it mean? Well....basically the softest touch it talks about is when a girl, particularly one I like, touches me for whatever reason. If you've ever read the book "The Five Love Languages", you'll know what I'm talking about when I say that physical touch is my love language. For those that don't know, the five languages are gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch. they are the five general ways that people receive love. Each person is sensitive to different ones. I'm most sensitive to touch. So, when that touch comes, but it's not out of any love for me, it hurts so bad inside. Maybe you can't understand, but that's how it is for me. also, seeing couples close physically, that evokes the same feelings. jealousy, I guess. whatever it's from, pain's the same. Funny talking about pain.....I've had a strong desire to go back to cutting again. I want to do it deeper, leave bigger scars. I can't though, I've promised too many people I wouldn't....my mom, dad, Chrisanne, my counselor, Jessica.....I've just got no outlet. There's also this other issue I'm dealing with, but I can't talk about that here....I'll talk with Jordan about it tomorrow, he's dealing with the same thing, I think. anyway...till later...