just another day

can't come up with a more creative title. med's aren't doing too good today. it's just the need for that kind of companionship, you know? As creative a writer I am, there is no satisfactory description I could write that would express that pain, that empty loneliness. oh, hey, it's that song again.....and the shadow is still here. I cannot forsee it lifting, ever. My whole life has been, apparently, about preserving the status quo. Something I picked up from my mom, no doubt. Well, let me say emphatically, the status quo SUCKS. I've made a lot of changes in my life this past year, but it's apparently not enough. Despite my efforts, I'm still alone, still ignored. funny that Jordan feels the same way. And he's got a lot more going for him than I do. He's extremely intelligent, talented athlete, a lot of girls like him, just not the right ones. Makes me feel like my whole life has been one huge experiment in futility. I know some would say it's not, that I do have a purpose, but you know humans: a lot of hindsight, practically no foresight. man, I'm hungry....be right back.
k, got that taken care of. you know what I really need? a blind date, seriously. someone needs to set me up. maybe jennifer would.....I know brian's been looking for a while, but no luck. I know it doesn't have very good odds to back it up, but.....hey, it'll be an experience either way. I got nothin left to say, I'm outta here.