wow...THAT'S what I look like...

another new thing about me.....got contacts. Doesn't sound like a big deal, but it is to me. Means I've finally graduated from nerdhood. I've had glasses for ten years, was dependent on them. Now, I'm not. Don't get me wrong, not all people with glasses are nerds....I was, though. So...after a haircut, loosing twenty-five pounds, and getting contacts, I look completely different. I suppose those are the improvements I was talking about....there all on the outside. Funny thing about all this though (and this is for all you philosophers to chew on), is that the closer I get to what society dictates as "cool", the more depressed I get. Maybe I used to be a nerd, but at least I was a happy nerd, completely oblivious to what others thought about me. Now, I seem to be more sensitive to that as I try to improve myself. It's not that "peer pressure" is getting to me and will make me do stupid stuff, I just want to be accepted by people. My freshman year in high school, "reject" was an appropriate term for me. I was completely alone. Now, going into my senior year, I'm no longer an outcast, I have friends, and no body dislikes me because they found that beneath my eccentricities and rather unattractive exterior, I'm a pretty nice guy. But I'm still rejected, mostly by the ladies. yeah, I'm sure some of you are laughing now. But some of you understand. I no longer get those looks of disgust, they'll talk to me and stuff (like I said, no one dislikes me now), but it goes no farther than that. You know, they say that girls aren't as superficial as guys are, and sometimes that's true. not in my case apparently. It's not my personality that stops them....it's what they see on the outside. That's the rejection that hurts the worst.
Wow, i feel really stupid for having written all that. Some of you are laughing at me, I don't care. Some of you are in my exact situation, and can sympathize. Some of you might feel sorry for me, and tell me that things will come out okay in the end, but I've heard all that before, and I don't believe it. I'm a cynical skeptic, and a hopeless romantic all in the same sandwich. I wanna see it happen in my life. I want it in my life. I just don't see it happening for a long time, if ever.
Oi, I just need to shut up now.

Hey? What Hey?

Yes, "Hey". I'm going to eat lunch in a minute...acutally, I'll get dressed first, then eat lunch....so I'll keep it short. Hopefully Jordan gets those guitars off of EBay...I don't even know if there's anything for lunch....Anyway, I'm busy, so I gotta go.