A few ponderings

You know, one of the reasons why I like "The Black Fleet Crisis" is because the author makes several observations on the machinery of politics and human behavior. One observation on humans is the fact that we are contradictory beings. In detail, the observation described how a character's different personality types, which were evidenced in his choices in decoration, would not be able to stand each other. How very true for all of us. I also confess to being such a creature. Even when I'm depressed, I contradict myself. Sometimes I'm the self-pitying type of depressed, others, I have a cynical depression, where I hate other people for their selfish self-absorbtion, their inherent shallowness. Though, I often wonder whether or not this cyniscism is not just a denial of pain that I really am feeling inside. Pain from being alone, from wanting to be accepted, understood, and yes, even loved, by those same people who I accuse of being shallow. An interesting thought. Your comments, please, if anyone reads this.
Off of the ponderings front, I'm trying to decide if I want to start playing Utopia again....leaning for it at this moment. New age starts tomorrow, but I'll have to wait until next week because I'm leaving for the weekend for that forensics camp at Appalachian State.
Hope I can get with Jordan this week....maybe Wednesday after I see my counselor. Gotta show him that new song. Lunch time, gonna watch ROTK....again.